Nothing and Everything

I titled this post "nothing" because I sometimes just don't know what to say! I wanted this blog to be about our journey, but it's turning out that I only want to post when something positive has happened regarding this adoption process we're going through. I want to apologize for that. If we're writing this blog to help someone else while they're enduring the same kind of situation we are, then we have to be honest and tell it like it really is and not try to be so cheerful and upbeat all the time! Well, I must say that most of the time I am tha way, because it's who I want to be, but there are times when I get frustrated. I think the process takes too long. I don't know why I can't just have a baby. I don't understand why someone else who isn't the kind of parent I think they should be can have one but we can't. Why would someone just give me their baby. Why can't it just happen, NOW. Why aren't people spreading our information around so someone who is interested in giving a baby up for adoption will have it and contact us. Does that unhappy pregnant teenage girl walking down the road want to share her baby with me and how can I meet her to find out. I just want to cry till I get what I want. Am I not good enough. What am I being punished for. Why do I need to learn patience.

 

Seriously, all these things have run through my mind and some of them still do from time to time. But do you want to know what keeps me going and keeps me "sane" during this season of my life? A promise from God. He said He has a plan for us and that He would never leave us. It may not seem like much to those who don't understand how God works (as if any of us REALLY know) but He is carrying my burden, not me. I can go about fulfilling my promise to Him because He is carrying the weight of my heart on His shoulders.

 

By now I've changed the title of this post to "nothing and everything" because though I don't know what to say somtimes, He gives me the words that are needed. He is everything. Jesus is everything. It's not my plan, but His. He gave me this desire and He will fulfill that desire in His time and through His plan. I have nothing to worry about because we're all in His hands.

 

Have a blessed day.

~Helen